funny story

STRANGE BUT TRUE:
Note, none of these have been actually verified. Some I know to be true, but I can't vouch for all of them.
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. Humans, dolphins and Bonobo Chimpanzees are the only species that have sex for pleasure. On average people fear spiders more than they do death. The strongest muscle in the body is the TONGUE. It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open. You can't kill yourself by holding your breath. Americans on the average eat 18 acres of pizza every day. Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie. Did you know that you are more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than by a poisonous spider? Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do. In ancient Egypt, Priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes. A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out. The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. Polar bears are left handed. The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds, that makes the catfish rank #1 for animal having the most taste buds. The flea can jump 350 times its body length, that is like a human jumping the length of a football field. A cockroach will live nine days without it's head, before it starves to death. The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the males head off. Some lions mate over 50 times a day. Butterflies taste with their feet. Elephants are the only animals that can't jump. (thankfully) A cat's urine glows under a backlight. An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain. Starfishes haven't got brains.
Contributed by: Carson Bloomberg (ripped off this web page pointed out to me by Marcus)Date Added: December 4, 1998http://yoke.cc/funny5.htm..if u have time pass by this site...funny thing is out there

Im tired

I'm Tired
I'm tired. For a couple of years I've been blaming it on my iron-poor blood, lack of vitamins, poor diet, and a dozen other maladies. But now I think I've figured out the real reason: I'm tired because I'm overworked.
The population of the USA is 237 million.
104 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school, which leave 48 million to do the work.
Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government. This leaves 19 million to do the work.
Four million are in the Armed Forces, which leave 15 million to do the work.
Take from that total the 14,800,000 people who work for the State and City government and that leaves 200,000 to do the work.
There 188,000 in hospitals, so that leaves 12,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 11,998 people in Prisons. That leaves just two people to do the work.
You and me.
And you're sitting there reading this.
Contributed by: Bill ClevesDate Added: August 27, 1997

Funny Story

THE DUMBEST DEATH IN RECORDED HISTORY
Attila the Hun:One of the most notorious villains in history, Attila's army had conquered all of Asia by 450 AD-from Mongolia to the edge of the Russian Empire-by destroying villages and pillaging the countryside.How he died: He got a nosebleed on his wedding night.In 453 AD, Attila married a young girl named Ildico. Despite his reputation for ferocity on the battlefield, he tended to eat and drink lightly during large banquets. On his wedding night, however, he really cut loose, gorging himself on food and drink. Sometime during the night he suffered a nosebleed, but was too drunk to notice. He drowned in his own blood and was found dead the next morning.
Tycho Brahe:An important Danish astronomer of the 16th century. His ground breaking research allowed Sir Isaac Newton to come up with the theory of gravity.How he died: Didn't get to the bathroom in time.In the 16th century, it was considered an insult to leave a banquet table before the meal was over. Brahe, known to drink excessively, had a bladder condition-but failed to relieve himself before the banquet started. He made matters worse by drinking too much at dinner, and was too polite to ask to be excused. His bladder finally burst, killing him slowly and painfully over the next 11 days.
Horace Wells:Pioneered the use of anesthesia in the 1840sHow he died: Used anesthetics to commit suicide.While experimenting with various gases during his anesthesia research, Wells became addicted to chloroform. In 1848 he was arrested for spraying two women with sulfuric acid. In a letter he wrote from jail, he blamed chloroform for his problems, claiming that he'd gotten high before the attack. Four days later he was found dead in his cell. He'd anaesthetized himself with chloroform and slashed open his thigh with a razor.
Francis Bacon:One of the most influential minds of the late 16th century. A statesman, a philosopher, a writer, and a scientist, he was even rumored to have written some of Shakespeare's plays.How he died: Stuffing snow into a chickenOne afternoon in 1625, Bacon was watching a snowstorm and was struck by the wondrous notion that maybe snow could be used to preserve meat in the same way that salt was used. Determined to find out, he purchased a chicken from a nearby village, killed it, and then, standing outside in the snow, attempted to stuff the chicken full of snow to freeze it. The chicken never froze, but Bacon did.
Jerome Irving Rodale:Founding father of the organic food movement, creator of "Organic Farming and Gardening" magazine, and founder of Rodale Press, a major publishing corporation.How he died: On the "Dick Cavett Show", while discussing the benefits of organic foods.Rodale, who bragged "I'm going to live to be 100 unless I'm run down by a sugar-crazed taxi driver," was only 72 when he appeared on the "Dick Cavett Show" in January 1971. Part way through the interview, he dropped dead in his chair. Cause of death: heart attack. The show was never aired.
Aeschylus:A Greek playwright back in 500 BC. Many historians consider him the father of Greek tragedies.How he died: An eagle dropped a tortoise on his headAccording to legend, eagles picked up tortoises and attempt to crack them open by dropping them on rocks. An eagle mistook Aeschylus' head for a rock (he was bald) and dropped it on him instead.
Jim Fixx:Author of the best selling "Complete Book of Running," which started the jogging craze of the 1970s.How he died: A heart attack....while joggingFixx was visiting Greensboro, Vermont when he walked out of his house and began jogging. He'd only gone a short distance when he had a massive coronary. His autopsy revealed that one of his coronary arteries was 99% clogged, another was 80% obstructed, and a third was 70% blocked....and that Fixx had had three other attacks in the weeks prior to his death.
Contributed by: Carson BloombergDate Added: December 4, 1998

hii ! every body .Welcome our blog
This is the first time i can post my writing because it has had some problems.I don't know why our blog is banned ,but i think all thing 'll be alright .
It's great that you can read my thought and share your commentation with us .Living and studying in the biggest city in vietnam is absoluted wonderful but somtimes it drives me crazy. at first ,Nobody i could open my mind and i have turn it over in my mind .But now i make up my mind to speak openly to every body in our class .I find if you open your heart to every body and care about their problems ,you'll be happy . Because:" happy is to give more than to get"
Do you agree with me?and why don't you tell me about your thought and share your informations of studying with us .It 's useful for you and for me.

some idiom u may need

Exclamations - Notes
Idiom, phrasal verb or slang
The situation
Phrases with similar meaning or sentiment
(1) What a cheek!
Someone pushes in the queue at the post office
What a show of total disrespect for others for selfish reasons.
(2) What's going on?
You walk into a room and you are surprised by what you see.
What's happening here?
(3) So what?
Someone tells you some news which annoys or doesn't interest you.
What's so special about that?
(4) What's the point?
You want to buy a new printer but your old one still works perfectly.
There's no reason to do it.
(5) Just what I needed.
Your car breaks down and then you discover your batteries are out on your mobile phone.
How can I have so much bad luck!
http://www.autoenglish.org/id-exclam.n.htm

What is a nice day for u?

What a nice day!. mom woke me up in the morning....sat on the couch ...wrote some lyrics for a song....tried to sing it....looked at the clock....wow...."i am late".. ran to work....humm "Y today my student do all the exercises right"hard to understand...backed home at 12 pm humm midday...What to do.....sleep......sleep and sleep....."Y am i not hungry"but still eat...wow i love chicken thrill.....Yummy....tasted an icea cream....cool....it is hot outside...and i am feeling so right........Going to work now..i will jump back home soon....write to u some words....and show u some love....Who am i talking to?myself?answer yes....lol.......